- I'm Maya. We're Twin twisters.
- Twin sisters. - We lived together for
21 years, basically. - Even our Freshman year
of college we wanted random roommates and we still
got assigned to each other.
- [Both] Oh yeah! - If you're a twin they
always group you together. You're never your name
anymore, you're always - [Both] "The Twins". - To finding everything out about you. - Yeah, this is gonna be interesting.
Ohhh.... (Maya laughing)
- You are. You're the oldest. - I knew you were gonna say that! OK.
Oh my gosh, this is, of
course, the first question. What are your biggest
complaints about my partner? - Oooooooooooooh! (Laughs and mumbles) - He's selfish and he acts like
an only child all the time. I mean, he's a good guy. - Do you think he's attractive? - No, I don't think
he's attractive at all.
- Oh, really? (Laughing) - No. (Laughing) Would you ever have a threesome with me? - No. Kay, go. Next one.
- Take a shot! Take a shot then.
- Why? That's the truth! (Laughing) - All the time people ask
us... But I don't think.... Cause at the end of the day
you're gonna favor one of us, and I will be pissed if it ain't me. - OK, no.
Next question. OK, where was I the first
time you masturbated? - I don't fuckin' know! I don't even know how old I was! - I feel like you have
to take a drink for that. - Do you know the first
time you ever masturbated? - Let us both take a drink. Oh, me.
- You did.
I'm the.... If we had to pick a card - If we had to pick the card, it would be definitely she would
be the goody two-shoes. I started smoking weed. I started drinking.
- You were drinking.
- Hanging around with
the wrong people. Yeah. - I mean, I hung out with
the wrong people, but I just - [Both] didn't do it. - Well that's the sucky thing about twins, is that there has to be a good twin - [Both] And a bad twin.
- Cuz if you were by yourself, I don't think you necessarily were - [Both] A bad kid. - Oooooohhhh. You would know this, too. Have we ever slept with the same person? - Have we? - I don't know! Have we? - I don't know.
Have we?! I don't know! (Both laughing) I don't think we have. - Since Freshman year of
high school, I don't think we've been interested in the same - people. - I would go for the jocks.
She would go for the freaks. - Whaaaaattt?! (Laughing) - Do people try to fetishize us? Yes.
- [Both] All the time. - "Could we have a two-for-one deal?" - Yeah. No.
- No. There's no coupon for us.
Try to guess what I'm thinking. If you can't, take a shot. - OK. I think it's "Incredibles 2".
- Nope, it's not at all. I want pizza. - Oh! - Is it race? - No! What? - I don't know! What is the word? - It was home ownership!
- Oh! - We were talking about buying - [Both] A house together. - We both lost,
- You get it just as much.
- So we will take a shot. (Laughing) - What do you wish I'd apologize
for, but know I never will? - I know exactly what. - What? - Sophomore year, when you said that.... - Oh, when your....
- When my major separated us. That 100%, to this day, hurts me. - Yeah? I still feel like family is important, and there was times that
you thought that your job was more important than your family, and I just wanted to teach you before you had a family of your own. - There's a very pivotal
point where I had to choose between you and my major, and I chose you.
And I don't think you ever
realized that I did that, because I don't think I ever told you. There was one day when
Maya was really sick and I had to go to my boss and said that "I can't
come into work today." - I was sick with depression. I was medicating myself
to the point of numbness. Yeah, actually, now thinking
about it it, you did.
You were the only one
that was there for me, so I can kind of see that. I apologize for saying that
your major was in between us because it was really your
major that was able to actually bridge us together and save me, kind of. So thank you! I love you!
- I have mad love for you! - Yeah, I have mad love for you, too. - Whoooo! - What would your reaction
be if you got a call saying I was dead? - Oh God.
Ohhhhhh! I would think I would feel so much emotion that I would just shut down. But the thing is, which
is weird, I think I would know it happened before I got the call. I think whenever you would
take your last breath, I would feel that. Oh, have you ever wished
you weren't a twin? - No.
100% No. I feel like I am blessed to be a twin. Cheers to being twins!
- Mm hmmm. (Audience clapping).
No comments:
Post a Comment